Tommy Dorfman is an American actress, writer, director, and photographer best known for her role as Ryan Shaver on the Netflix series 13 Reasons Why.
She is also known for her openness about her identity and her work advocating for LGBTQ+ rights. She was married to Elise Williams in a private ceremony in late 2023, but they filed for divorce in 2025.
Who is Tommy Dorfman?
Tommy Dorfman is a talented actress, director, and writer who has made a significant impact in the entertainment world. She is best known for her role as Ryan Shaver on the hit Netflix series 13 Reasons Why.
Over the years, Tommy has worked in film, television, and theater, building a diverse and impressive career. Her passion and creativity have earned her respect in many areas of the arts.
In addition to acting, Tommy has also shown her skill behind the camera. She directed and co-wrote the film I Wish You All the Best, which premiered in 2024 and highlights her storytelling abilities.
Tommy has also explored the world of fashion and photography, working as a model for well-known brands and appearing on magazine covers. Her varied talents show her ability to succeed in many creative fields.
Tommy is a strong supporter of LGBTQ+ rights and uses her voice to promote acceptance and representation.
She has participated in campaigns and partnered with organizations like GLAAD, as well as fashion brands like ASOS, to raise awareness and support the community.
In 2021, Tommy Dorfman publicly came out as a transgender woman. She revealed that she had been living privately as a woman for about a year before sharing her truth with the world.
Since coming out, she has openly shared her journey, inspiring others and contributing to greater visibility and understanding of transgender experiences.
Early Life of Tommy Dorfman
Tommy Dorfman was born on May 13, 1992, in Atlanta, Georgia, United States. She is American by nationality. Tommy grew up in Atlanta, where she spent much of her childhood.
She was raised in a Jewish family, which is an important part of her ethnic and cultural background.
Although she has not shared many details about her parents and siblings publicly, it is known that she feels a strong connection to her family.
The name Tommy is her birth name, and she chose to keep it because it honors her mother’s brother, her uncle, who passed away when she was just a month old.
From a young age, Tommy showed an interest in the arts. She trained in ballet during her childhood, which helped her develop discipline and a love for performing. As she grew older, her passion shifted more toward acting and storytelling.
This early interest to dance and the performing arts shaped her future career path. She dreamed of becoming an actress and storyteller who could connect with people through her work.
After finishing high school, Tommy moved to New York City to pursue her education in theater. She attended Fordham University in New York.
At Fordham, she studied Theatre Arts, which gave her a strong foundation in acting, stage performance, and understanding of dramatic arts. In 2015, she graduated with a Bachelor of Arts degree.
Although Tommy keeps much of her family life private, one well-known family member is her cousin, Andi Dorfman. Andi became famous after appearing on the reality TV show The Bachelorette.
Tommy’s family background, her education, and her personal journey with gender identity have all played important roles in shaping who she is today.
Tommy Dorfman Age
Tommy Dorfman is 33 years old as of 2025 because she came into the world on May 13, 1992, in Atlanta, Georgia, United States. According to her birthday, she falls under the Taurus zodiac sign.
Early Career and Rise to Fame
Tommy Dorfman’s professional journey in the entertainment world began soon after she graduated from Fordham University in 2015 with a Bachelor of Arts degree in acting.
Her strong foundation in theater and performance prepared her to pursue a variety of roles across different media.
Her first major breakthrough came in 2017, when she was cast as Ryan Shaver in the Netflix original series 13 Reasons Why.
The show quickly gained global attention for its honest and sometimes difficult exploration of teenage life, mental health, and identity.
Her performance on 13 Reasons Why opened many doors and established her as a talented and versatile young actress.
The role showcased her ability to portray emotional depth and nuanced characters. Alongside acting, Tommy showed an early interest in the fashion world.
In the same year as her Netflix debut, she collaborated with the popular clothing brand ASOS to help design a fashion collection. Tommy also quickly made a name for herself in modeling and fashion photography.
She appeared in advertising campaigns for luxury brands such as Calvin Klein and Fendi, gaining recognition for her striking look and charismatic presence.
Her image graced the covers of notable magazines like Paper Magazine and Fucking Young!, which helped her establish a multifaceted public persona.
Theater, Filmmaking, and Advocacy
Tommy’s professional growth did not stop with film and television. In 2019, she made her New York theater debut in the play Daddy, written by Jeremy O. Harris and produced by The New Group.
Directed by Danya Taymor, this production was critically acclaimed and gave Tommy an opportunity to shows her skills in a live theatrical setting.
Continuing to expand her creative reach, Tommy stepped into filmmaking as both a director and co-writer of the 2024 film I Wish You All the Best.
Taking on the roles of director and writer allowed Tommy to shape narratives from her own perspective, explore personal themes, and tell stories that matter to her.
The film’s upcoming theatrical release in 2025 signals her growth into a well-rounded storyteller and a creative force in the industry.
Alongside her professional achievements, Tommy Dorfman is a passionate advocate for LGBTQ+ rights and visibility. She publicly came out as a transgender woman in 2021 and has been open about her journey ever since.
Tommy continues to live and work between Los Angeles and New York City. With a growing list of accomplishments and a clear commitment to representation and creativity, she remains an influential figure in entertainment and a role model for many in the LGBTQ+ community.
Tommy Dorfman Movies and TV Shows
Some of Tommy Dorfman Movie and TV Shows are listed below:
- 13 Reasons Why (2017–2018; guest appearance in 2020)
- Jane the Virgin (2019)
- American Princess (2019)
- Sharp Stick (upcoming)
- I Wish You All the Best (2024, director and co-writer)
Tommy Dorfman Book
- Maybe This Will Save Me: A Memoir of Art, Addiction, and Transformation
When did Tommy Dorfman Come Out?
Tommy Dorfman publicly came out as a transgender woman on July 22, 2021. In an interview with Time magazine, she shared that she had been privately identifying and living as a woman for about a year before making her announcement public.
She described this moment as a reintroduction to herself, saying, Today is about clarity: I am a trans woman. My pronouns are she/her. My name is Tommy.
This public declaration was important for her to take control of her own story and share her true identity openly with the world. Before coming out as transgender, Tommy first came out as non-binary in November 2017.
At that time, she began using they/them pronouns. However, over time, her understanding of her gender evolved. She later transitioned to using she/her pronouns as she embraced her identity as a transgender woman.
Tommy explained that her transition was a deeply personal journey that helped align her outward identity with how she felt inside.
Leading up to her public announcement in 2021, Tommy had been sharing parts of her transition on social media, including Instagram.
The conversations and curiosity about her changing appearance encouraged her to speak openly and clearly about her identity. Since coming out, she has become a strong advocate for transgender visibility and representation.
Why is Tommy Dorfman Famous?
Tommy Dorfman became famous for her role as Ryan Shaver in the Netflix series 13 Reasons Why. She played a confident and openly gay teenager, which was important because it showed LGBTQ+ characters in a new way.
Her character’s story focused on more than just sexuality it showed his personal growth and experiences.
This fresh, realistic portrayal helped many viewers feel seen and understood, making Tommy’s role stand out in television.
Beyond acting, Tommy has made a name for herself in fashion and activism. She has modeled for big brands like Calvin Klein and Fendi and worked with ASOS to create a fashion collection.
Her presence in the fashion world added to her fame and showed her creativity in different areas. Tommy is also a strong supporter of LGBTQ+ rights.
Through her acting, fashion work, and activism, Tommy Dorfman has become a well-known figure in both entertainment and the LGBTQ+ community. Her dedication to authenticity and representation continues to inspire people around the world.
Tommy Dorfman Net Worth
Tommy Dorfman has an estimated net wirth of $20 million as of 2025. She earns most of her money from acting. She works in television, movies, and theater.
Her role in the Netflix series 13 Reasons Why made her well-known and led to paid acting jobs. She continues to take on new acting roles, which bring her income through contracts and performance fees.
In addition to acting, Tommy makes money through modeling and fashion work. She has appeared in ads for big brands like Calvin Klein and Fendi, and has been on magazine covers. She has also helped design a fashion collection with ASOS.
More recently, Tommy has started directing and writing films, which adds another source of income through film projects and releases. Her talents in different creative areas help her earn money in many ways.
Tommy Dorfman Husband
Tommy Dorfman’s first marriage was to Peter Zurkuhlen. The two met through mutual friends in 2005 and began dating shortly after. Their relationship grew over the years, and they got engaged in April 2015.
On November 12, 2016, they were married in a private ceremony in Portland, Maine. At the time, Tommy was not yet publicly out as transgender and was known for her early roles in acting.
Peter Zurkuhlen is a tech entrepreneur and has worked in real estate and start-ups. He is known for his leadership in food-tech innovation and has been supportive of LGBTQ+ causes.
During their marriage, Peter stood by Tommy as her career progressed and as she came out first as non-binary in 2017, and then as a transgender woman in 2021.
As Tommy embraced her identity and transitioned, the nature of their relationship evolved. Despite their shared history and support for one another, the couple filed for divorce in early 2022.
Even after separating, they remained on good terms. Peter expressed ongoing support for Tommy during her transition, and both have spoken respectfully about each other in public.
Tommy Dorfman Wife
After her divorce from Peter, Tommy Dorfman found love again this time with Elise Williams. They met in 2021 through the dating app Hinge and quickly formed a strong emotional bond.
Within just two months, they were engaged. Elise was loving and affirming of Tommy’s identity, and their relationship grew with shared values and deep connection.
The couple lived together in Brooklyn, adopted a Great Dane puppy, and kept their relationship mostly low-key. In late 2023, they eloped in a quiet ceremony in Malibu, California.
Their marriage was revealed in May 2024 through a heartfelt personal essay by Tommy in Vogue, where she described the wedding as spontaneous, meaningful, and perfect. Though their marriage was full of love, it faced challenges.
By early 2024, Tommy began posting reflective and emotional messages on social media, hinting at heartbreak.
In May 2025, she filed for divorce from Elise. Despite the separation, their story remains an important chapter in Tommy’s personal growth and her journey toward living openly and authentically.
Tommy Dorfman Height and Weight
Tommy Dorfman stands approximately 5 feet 9 inches which is equal to 175 centimeters or 1.75 meters tall, which gives her a graceful and commanding presence both on and off the screen.
She weighing around 70 kilograms or 154 pounds as she maintains a slender and fit physique. This is partly due to her background in dance, which has helped her develop strength, flexibility, and poise.
Social Media Presence
Tommy Dorfman is active on multiple platforms of social media including Instagram. She shares moments from her personal life, including her travels and daily experiences.
Tommy uses her platforms to raise awareness about LGBTQ+ issues. She also posts fun and engaging videos on TikTok that show her vibrant personality.
Conclusion
In Conclusion, Tommy Dorfman has built a powerful presence through her work in entertainment and her honest, personal journey.
She continues to inspire others with her creativity, strength, and commitment to living authentically. As she moves forward, Tommy remains a bold and important voice in both the arts and the LGBTQ+ community.
Have any thoughts or opinions? Drop them in the comment section below!
Recommended: Emma Rose Biography
